When I think of having sex at a festival, I have two scenarios that play in my head. First scenario: My boyfriend and I, feeling all the good vibes and feeling all the love. Going back to our tent, hearing some slow EDM songs playing in the background. A beautiful, starry night, so magical and perfect. Second scenario: 90 degrees out, day 3 of the festival. Two hot, sticky, smelly bodies trying to be sexy. No energy. No drive. Not clean. And NOT sexy. Sex a festival could possibly be like either one of these scenarios, but most likely hot, nasty and sweaty. Not in a good way. I hope if you do have sex at a festival, it’s exactly how you want it to be. Here are some tips and advice before you just dive in to the unknown and do the dirty at a fest.
Why?
Why have sex at a festival? To some, it sounds gross and revolting. To others, it’s the perfect place for a hookup. No matter what festival you go to, there will be drugs and alcohol. Whether you choose to partake, is your choice. (Please, always test your substance of choice!) if you choose to partake in any party favors and/or alcohol, we all know how sometimes those substances can put you in your feels. Sometimes that means you get the feels in your nether-regions. Not to mention being around beautiful people and the good vibes floating around. So maybe the real question is… why not?
After researching, I found that their is an easy way to find a quit hookup. (If that’s what you are looking for.) Tinder has a “festival mode”. Meaning, users can add which festivals they will be attending and connect with other people who will be at the same festival. Which is a fun way to meet new people and hookup, if that is what you’re into.
But what if you’re not into it? This leads to the topic of consent. Having sex with someone STARTS with consent from BOTH parties involved. Always make sure consent is very clear. Especially when drugs and/or alcohol is involved. Bad things CAN still happen at a fest. Not everyone has pure motives and intentions. So know yourself and your body, and also know “no, means no.” Unconscious=no. Super “messed up”=no. Use your head and practice safe, consensual sex.
When?
Between running around with your friends, having fun and enjoying the festival, when is there time for sex? Well, anytime is a time for sex, or not. The time is up to you!
Where?
The most asked question… Where do you have sex at a festival? Surprisingly, there are a handful of options, some better than others. Here are some options:
1. A tent- the most commonplace to have sex at a fest and probably the safest bet. It’s the closest you can get to a bedroom. But, they are not soundproof, still still messy and dirty, and your tent could smell like dirty, sweaty sex for the rest of the fest. Ew.
2. A car- second most common , second safest bet. It’s more private and a little more soundproof. Possibly hotter and sweatier. But also keep in mind, you can be seen through all the windows. (Unless they are tinted of course.)
3. A field- sounds romantic? But, fields can be muddy and filled with trash and whatever else. Plus, you could definitely get caught!
4. RV/camper- this would be the ideal choice. Privacy, soundproof to an extent, and clean. But, some of us don’t have that luxury.
5. In the crowd- believe it or not, I’ve seen it. This really does happen. No privacy here, but who am I to judge?
6. Port-a-potty- this is definitely the dirtiest of choices. Nothing turns someone on more than the smell of pee/poop soup. Wrong. Find a better place. Anywhere is better than a port-a-potty.
7. Dance tent- this has got to be the boldest choice. How does one do this? Secretly grinding your genitals together? Or just straight up screwing in front of everyone? Do whatever I guess.
How?
I came up with some do’s and don’ts with the help of a little research.
Do’s:
-DO bring condoms! Practice safe sex to help prevent the spread of STDs and to help prevent making a little rave baby.
-DO dispose of your condom properly. Nobody wants to touch your used rubber filled with baby gravy. Don’t litter either, use a trash can.
-DO have consent. Make sure you and the other person(s) involved, WANT to be involved.
-DO tell your friends where you are going and with who. Stay safe my friends!
-DO be respectful of your tent buddies/campsite pals. Nobody wants to hear or see you doing the dirty deed. Some people actually want to sleep.
-DO use some baby wipes. Clean yourself up before/after.
Don’ts:
-DON’T get caught! Super awkward…
-DON’T assume your tent is soundproof! We can hear you entertaining your new friend in there. Trust me.
-DON’T have oral. You both know how long it has been since ya’ll have showered. Gross.
-DON’T leave your valuables laying around. If you bring a stranger to your tent, (especially if you are sharing a tent.) hide your valuables. You never know…
-DON’T forget why you are here. You spent how much money on a fest ticket to see music you love, have a great time with your friends and enjoy the great vibes.
Festivals are not about sex! If you meet someone and it feels right, go for it! You’re with your significant other and you want to express your love? By all means, go at it. It’s not all about sex, but if you get lucky, good for you.
Get consent, wear protection and PLUR on!
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